The Taming of the Shrew GmS style
by dead-possum-CJ
Summary: CH 4 UP! Just who will pokerize whom in a tension-filled poker game? The score so far: Sanzo 1, Gojyo nil. Did the cat get the Shrew’s tongue? Someone’s heart is melting!
1. A line for Gojyo

Chapter 1: A line for Gojyo

A long, long time ago, in a far away land….

Observe, as a redhead saunters listlessly along the streets in a harbor city called Soda Met, hands in his pockets.  He seems lost in his own world.  Look at the troubled expression on his face, sensually attractive despite the scars adorning the left cheekbone.  Our hero is approaching a group of three men, one of whom is nursing troubled thoughts of his own.

Man 1: Incorrigible! What a shrew!

Man 2: She broke her music teacher's head with her lute for informing her she was tone-deaf.

Man 1: So I heard.  And there was the incidence with the messenger boy… and the one with her shooting instructor… etc, etc

Man 3: (Sighs heavily)

Man 2: Poor Homura. At this rate, you'll never be able to marry your sweet Goku.

Man 3: Ah. Their father refused to let the younger daughter go before the older one gets married.

Man 1: Hell! And who _is_ going to take that violent, psychopathic woman?

Man 3: (Sighs *real* heavily and claps hand to face)

Man 2: Aww. Too bad, Homura.

Man clapped Homura on the back consolingly. 

As fate would have it, our handsome friend with the mismatched eyes happened to look up from his misery just at the exact moment the hero of this story passed by, hands still in his pockets. [1]

Homura: Hey you over there!

Gojyo: Yup?

Homura: Wanna make some money?

And so the two had a very fruitful discussion, in which Homura pointed out in capitals, to the other man, that the shrew's father was a very, very WEALTHY man and tended to be very, very GENEROUS with the dowry for his two daughters, especially the elder and (of course) prettier [2] of them.  He neglected to mention that the elder girl had some violent tendencies and overlooked the fact that her vocabulary put even the most seasoned sailors' to shame.  

I suspect it would not have mattered to the red-haired man called Gojyo anyway. The violence and the swearing that is. The dowry (or the size of the dowry) meant a lot to him however. Money always means a lot to a gambler on a losing streak. Especially if the door and walls of his apartment unit had recently been decorated with pay-up-or-else-notices in bright red paint, tastefully done by the artist employed by the loan sharks.

Hence it came to be that Sha Gojyo agreed to lend a hand in helping Homura's plan of getting hitched (to his __awww_ sweet Goku), by getting hitched himself. To the formidable elder daughter of Kanon-sama, a well-known merchant of this harbor city called Soda Met.

[1] Because they are empty.

[2] Despite appearances, this happens to be true. The elder is the prettier one. Patience. All will be revealed.

Author's Ramblings: 

(Skip if you have just had an earful from spouse/parent/boss/etc)

What do you think?

Naaa naaaa?

Thanks to the seikazu aisenai, author of Geboku, for inspiring me.

The elder daughter? Who do you think she was? 

Hakkai? (Maybe, if those cool ear-clips are off). Barring a demonic Hakkai, the only person fit to play the role of the Shrew …. will be revealed in the next chapter.  HINT (in caps): Katherine the Shrew was a blond in the Moonlighting episode parodying the same play.  Ooops, I'm actually old enough to remember Moonlighting.  ^_^;;  [runs to magic cream to erase any evidence of wrinkles from face].

Until the next chapter then: The Shrew of Soda Met


	2. Shrew meets Man About Town

Disclaimer: Characters of Gensoumaden Saiyuki belong to Minekura Kazuya and whatever publishing company she currently is with.

Chapter 2: The Shrew of Soda Met meets the Man-About-Town

"I'm hungry again, Ma'am!" 

The plaintive cry rang loud in the mansion the leading merchant of the city.  This was promptly followed by a resounding rain of thwacks - the sound of sandalwood fan meeting a hard skull.  The barrage was interrupted a cracking sound.  A muttered curse ensued as the owner of the fan stared at the split blades. [1]

            "Mistress Sanzo! Stop hitting your sister with the fan! This is the 4th you've broken today!" Jiroshin hurried from where he had been supervising the kitchen staff to the drawing room.  Oh busy busy!  Being the head housekeeper to Kanon-sama was certainly a stressful job indeed.  Add those two brats to the main job description… and you have it.  A bottomless pit that begged to be filled every 15 minutes and an edgy damsel who responded to everything and more with physical violence.

            "My stomach is sticking to my backside!" Goku whined as she tugged piteously at Jiroshin's sleeve. "And she spoiled my hairdo for the dinner!" The petulant girl (yeah Homura's _sweet_ Goku) pointed an accusing finger to a sour-looking girl, who had resumed burying her tawny head in the newspaper.  A billow of smoke ascended from the day's headlines.

            "All right, young mistress, I'll get your snack [2] served right away, and I'll order the maid to do your hair after that," Jiroshin said placatingly.  He added before he turned away: "And you, Mistress Sanzo, stop reading that scandalous tabloid and smoking without a cigarette holder.  It's most unbecoming of a high-born lady." He heard a grunt from the paper and sighed as he headed for the kitchen. Years of serving the family had prepared him for being ignored by the tyrant of the house.  _Why do I even bother?_

            "I ___ " Goku begun again, and clamped his mouth shut as she found herself staring at the muzzle of a revolver.  Her mouth dried up at the click of the chamber turning…

            "Shut up. I'll tell you one thing for free: These bullets are _not_ the blanks that sissy trainer insisted that I used for practice…" A pair of violent violet eyes gazed menacingly at her.  Goku felt like she was going to lose control of her sphincter anytime.  She knew what had happened to that "sissy trainer".  It was still the talk of the town.  The poor man would never instruct anyone in target shooting, or any kind of art after this.  He would be too busy learning how to clean up after himself with his newly rearranged limbs.

            So Goku wised up and clamed up.  Sanzo was stormier than usual today, probably due to the news that Homura (yes, my gallant Homura) would be bringing up another (another! You would think that they would have known better than to even _think_ about it.) suitor who hoped to court the town shrew.  Yes, Goku knew what they called his sister.  Shrew.  A few years later Sanzo would graduate to "that old maid", and Goku would follow her soon, too, if their father could not be persuaded to change his mind about the matter.  _Oh Father! Why can't I marry my Homura first?_    

[1] Paper fans were not in vogue in Soda Met "long, long time ago".  Medieval ladies of fashion in Soda Met preferred the ornate sandalwood variety instead.

[2] The family _always_ fed Goku before dinner, especially when guests were expected (as on that day).  To further ensure that she did not embarrass one of the leading families of Soda Met, she was further drugged with belladonna (which made her luscious round eyes even rounder and shinier than ever).  These measures proved to be effective.  However, nobody ever found out whether it was the drug, or the fact that Goku had _actually_ been truly satiated through the "pre-dinner" feeding.  (Is that even remotely possible?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sha Gojyo, man ___" he was about to finish with "about town", when Homura elbowed him discreetly.

            "Ehem… manager.  Inn manager.  Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir," Gojyo bowed slightly towards the imposing figure seated at the head of the table.  Kanon-sama nodded sagely, his passive countenance only broken by a small smile which showed that perhaps, just perhaps, he had caught on to what the suave, lanky guest before him had meant to say.  Perhaps the suave, lanky man's aura proclaimed to the world what he was as plainly as if the words "prodigal, good-for-nothing" were branded across his forehead.  _Never mind that. Prodigal or otherwise, I would be glad to unload that girl to any man brave or fool enough to take her. Just _take_ her._

            "Let's dispense with all the pleasantry, shall we," Kanon-sama cut in Homura's attempts at small talk.  Looking directly at Gojyo, he said: "I understand that you intend to pay court to my elder daughter."

            "That's right, sir," the redhead answered, returning the older man's stare with equanimity.  The unwavering crimson eyes gazed back at him.  Kanon-sama was impressed.  Flicking his long luxuriant hair back, he barked out a candid laugh.

            "I like you, lad.  That is why I am going to be frank with you, though I suppose my elder daughter's reputation would have reached your ears already."

            A wide, roguish grin greeted him. "Yes it has," came the answer from the smiling mouth.  Kanon-sama, taken aback momentarily by the candor, finally decided on the soft sell.  After all, as he had said, he liked the man.  If the lad still insisted on Sanzo's hand after this, Kanon-sama guessed that he would have no better son-in-law indeed, considering the quality of the merchandise at hand. [3] Putting all niceties away (meaning he would not even bother to couch his words in delicate terms from now on), Kanon-sama begun:

            "She fights like a hellcat."

            "Ho! She would be well able to defend her own honor and the household then." A highly composed answer. "Besides, a man would be fortunate indeed to have his own personal sparring partner.  I am a fan of street-brawls and the WWF, myself." 

            "She has the cutting tongue of a harpy."

            "I am partially deaf from my late stepmother's nagging anyway."

            "She smokes like a chimney."

            "Really? Me too.  Excellent! I wouldn't have a nagging woman who complains of the smell of tobacco all the time then.  Besides, we can share.  Does she smoke the same brand?"

            Kanon-sama was feeling unreal by then.  _This is too good to be true.  The catch?  _ Then he realized it.  There had to be a catch.  There always is one.  He had a good idea what it would turn out to be.  Nevertheless, he went on.  Because this was making him feel so good.  He had never felt this good since the girls' mother went to the bazaar in the sky many years ago.

            "… excessively fond of her revolver…"

            "… I didn't seek to marry a lady who likes to play the damsel in distress all the time." 

            "… never good with household management…"

            "… Can be house-broken, er, house-trained."

            "… claims that she hears voices…"

            "… Inspired.  Does she paint? Write? Compose?"

            "… lapses into moody silences on rainy days…"

            "… We can cuddle and _just_ listen to the rain all day long.  Wouldn't that be romantic?" 

Kanon-sama decided to stop just then.  "All right, how much are you asking for her?"

            The young man swept his hair back from his face, took a pack of cigarettes from Homura's hand, and seized a stick with his lips.  

            "The dowry?" He asked with cigarette still clenched between lips as he bent over the light proffered by Homura (who had managed to stay awake through the umpteenth meet-the-parent interview).  Kanon-sama nodded silently.

            "Here are my terms," Gojyo said, blowing a gush of smoke at the maid who was setting the table for dinner _and_ winking playfully at her at the same time. _Oh, my Sanzo is not the only one needing some taming here.  I am beginning to think that they might deserve, no, _suit_, each other. To the tee._  Kanon-sama listened as Gojyo stated his "terms", [4] as he called them.  Five minutes later, all had been settled between them.  Kanon-sama caught himself in time before he actually started to say "Nice doing business with you" as they shook hands.  Instead, he said: "The only problem now is getting _her_ to agree to marry you."

            "Oh, leave it to me, sir.  That would be no problem, no problem at all," the rogue replied flightily.

            "We'll see about that," Kanon-sama said, and called out to the maid. "When you are done, please request the two mistresses to come down to dinner."

            "Yes sir."

            A few moments later, Gojyo looked up from his place at the table, at the rustle of silk from the top of the staircase.  Ruby met violet for the first time as Sanzo flashed her suitor-eating scowl at the dunce who had the gall to ask for her hand.  She frowned when the stranger did not flinch, hell, he did not even blink in the fusillade of her spite.  All of the previous ones had started to look like they had peed in their pants by this point.  _What went wrong?_ She thought as she stumped (most unlady-like) down the stairs.  _Just _who_ is this brute?_ Why, the brute even had the audacity to smile, no, to actually _leer_ at her.  Insolently.  No man had dared to _leer_ at her before.  None.  _Okay, make it _nonealive_._ _That redhead is one dead man_, Sanzo vowed as she took her seat in ominous silence, her glare never leaving the impudent man.

            Forgotten by all (who were watching the odd pair) except by Goku (who had bounced happily right into him), Homura shuddered, and thought: _At this moment, Sha Gojyo and Genjo Sanzo meet._ [5]

The battle had begun.

[3] Being a trader, Kanon-sama definitely could not shake away his bourgeoisie outlook.  In this matter, he could only think of Sanzo as merchandise with limited shell-life.  A merchant who is unable to unload expiring goods soon enough is certainly not a _good_ businessman.  

[4] Settlement with the loan-sharks from Chapter 1, a house, a lifetime supply of cigarettes and condoms (for both items, brands of Gojyo's choice, of course), a minor portion of the family business, and needless to say, a satisfactory lump sum of hard cold cash, c--a--s--h.

[5] A take at the anime! When angsty Homura commented on the meeting between Konzen and Goku. Haha.

A/R:

Do you like it? Hate it? Rambling? Yes, I ramble. A lot. When I don't ramble, I rant. I have been told that I even rant in sleep. Figures. 

Reviews and flames are humbly accepted, with thanks for both and love for the former. 

Reviewers: My appreciations 

Tooboe luvs Tsume: Eto… we'll never who gets on top of whom until the very end.  This is rated PG-13, so none of the straddling stuff we always see in the manga/anime.

Ali: I know I am _so_ busted.^.^ That's why this fic was unleashed upon the unsuspecting world in the first place, after the sars thing. I would like to personally apologize to old Willy for it but guess it would be sometime before we meet.

Triple X: Er, is it the scream of pain or delight? Hopefully, I have managed to inflict both?

UltraM2000: No, no, I have something special for Hakkai. He is my fav (_way_ after a certain B-type Scorpion, of course). I've read ur fics too ~ they gave me a good insight into Hakkai. Style? I have none of my own. The sarcasm is from Mr King of the Carrie and Dreamcatcher fame, the penchant for footnotes is from Mr R.A. Wilson of the Illuminatus fame.


	3. Courting the Shrew aka Will Gojyo emerge...

Disclaimer: Characters of Gensoumaden Saiyuki belong to Minekura Kazuya and whichever publishing company she currently is with.

Note: My appreciation to reviewers is at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 3: Courting the Shrew a.k.a. Will Gojyo emerge out whole? Part 1 

Batten down, boys and girls, ukes and semes!  The battle is about to begin in earnest.

Opponents: Genjo Sanzo, the Shrew vs. Sha Gojyo, Man-About-Town

Venue:  Drawing room of the mansion of Kanon-sama

Time/Date: After dinner, Friday 13th

Entrance: 10 Crowns (adult), 5 Crowns (child, 0.9 meters and below, must be accompanied by an adult)

Popcorns will be provided.  For your own safety, please do not step beyond the yellow line while show is going on.  Bettings with authorized bookmakers only.

The dinner had gone on splendidly.  As if imbued with an invisible shield, our hero managed to deflect every single one of the daggers of murderous glares thrown his way from our sullen lady.  He had the whole party (with the exception of Sanzo, of course) roaring with laughter at his worldly anecdotes.  Little did everyone know that the jocular facade masked a fearless spirit intent on achieving the sole purpose of his life – a life of luxury free of worries.  No more waking up in the morning dreading if there was enough for the next two meals, no more insomnia in the night due to anxiety caused by irate calls from the moneylenders.  Yes, despite the aura surrounding him which proclaimed "prodigal, good-for-nothing", Sha Gojyo was a very, very determined man.

      Well, Gojyo was not the only determined person in the party.  Sanzo observed her soon-to-be-dead suitor with an inner calmness that belied the wrath on her face, looking for an Achilles heels somewhere in that boisterous make-up.  She watched as the rogue flirted with the maid who was refilling his glass.  She listened silently as he recounted his exploits at the gaming table.  She noticed the almost imperceptible crack in Gojyo's facade when her father inquired on the health of Homura's mother, who had been mentally afflicted by a recent tragedy in the family.  

      By the time desserts were served, Sanzo had found a few openings, albeit tenuous ones.  She was ready to use any one of them to get back at this insolent upstart. For the crime of leering at her earlier.  She was not going to just simply maim or kill him.  She was going to _humiliate him to death.  Despite her reputation for physical violence, the elder daughter of Kanon-sama never underestimated the power of mental cruelty.  This vulgar man, who thought he could climb the social ladder by clinging to her skirts, would get a full taste of her viciousness tonight.  Yes.  He would __so wish he had never set his lecherous eyes on her. _

      By the tacit law of courtship, after the table was cleared, Kanon-sama promptly disappeared into his study (leaving the door slightly ajar), Goku and Homura went off to the grounds "for an after-dinner saunter" (properly chaperoned by poor Jiroshin, of course), and the two main stars of the process were left alone in the drawing room.  The battleground was prepared.

      [Are you ready?]

      Gojyo plopped down on the luxurious sofa, limbs splayed about in abandonment.  _Soon all this will be mine_, he thought.  If he played the game right tonight.  The prize: the dragon woman who was staring down at him, plus her dowry.  A laughter escaped before he could stifle it.  He had thought of her as dragon woman, and here she was, fuming at him, looking as if smoke and fire might burst out of her nostrils any moment.  He looked up at her, expecting to see a furious reaction at the laughter.

      No fire and brimstone.  Nothing but ice.  The scowl had disappeared about the same time he had started to laugh.  Instead of the harangue he had been prepared for, Gojyo was surprised to hear a cool throaty voice address him: "Care for a game of poker, sir?"

~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~

      Somewhere to the north, in a 4WD jeep, a black-haired woman with a pretty face was hurrying towards the city of Soda Met, driving at just twice the speed limit.  She had to brake hard in order to avoid a child who was carelessly crossing the road.  Despite the near miss, a calm smile was plastered on her face as she spoke to no one in particular: "That was close!  But we have to get there, and I really can't bear one more day without justice… I know you'll understand, Jeep, so just hang in there for a while."  The fire of determination shone brightly in her green eyes as the jeep accelerated towards their destination.

**Will Gojyo survive his confrontation with the Shrew? Has Genjo Sanzo finally found her match in the Man-About-Town? Is that Hakkai in the jeep? Has Kenny returned from the dead (again)? Tuned in next week, same day, same time, same channel for**

Chapter 4: Courting the Shrew a.k.a. Will Gojyo emerge out whole? Part 2 

**To be continued… **(oh yes I am wicked! Wicked!)****

Omake:

Okay, since I hate talking to the characters I have hijacked from Minekura, my version of extras does not include CJ being sexually harassed by the kappa or CJ being threatened with that poor excuse of a gun (is it even automatic?) by that poor excuse of a monk or CJ being smiled at by Hakkai (*shudders*) or CJ feeding the monkey boy…. Here goes:

What CJ conceitedly thinks that CJ (and other fangals) should learn from the GmS manga/anime:

Lesson #01: On forgetting

If you are unfortunate enough to encounter them (in your current incarnation, or most likely as a self-insert in your own fic – touchwood!), please take note that:

Sha Gojyo – is the man you'll never forget.  Because he ran off with _that_ hussy and left you with _his_ gambling debts.

Cho Hakkai – is the man who will never forget you.  Because you ran off with _that_ hussy and left him a house in shambles and scads of smelly laundry to take care of.

Son Goku – is the man, okay, the boy who will _never_ let you forget him.  Because he will whine, and whine, and whine to remind you that he needs _you.  To feed him._

Genjo Sanzo – is the man you will do well to forget.  Because he is already _taken_.  By the previous three plus two dead characters.  He is not worth endangering your life and limbs for, especially against those three bloodthirsty youkai fighters!

Reviewers: My appreciation

kei: I told you so. Thx for reviewing anyway.

Ali: Wow, thx for the score. I don't think my English Lit. teacher would ever give me even a B++.  "CJ, why are you always male in your stories?" Yup. Old Willy even had a crush or two on a couple of the bishies who acted in his theatre troupe.  Life imitates art, I guess.  And he did write Twelfth Night. Hehe.

Radical Ed: Nice nick. I like the kid too, even if she's an anime _girl (haha). The script-type dialogue is a gimmick, dear Ed, g.i.m.m.i.c.k.  It tricks guileless readers like you into reading the fic in the first place. _

Tooboe luvs Tsume: I am only following the spirit of the original play. If you like yaoi that much, wait for my next fic. It is chock-full of wholesome angst and has hints (and much more!) of 2,3,4-way shonen-ai plastered all over it, while a real plot is actually going on in the background. (Shameless self-advertisements!) Btw, I like the Tsume x Tooboe pairing too, though Kiba x Tsume titillates me more.

No-name: Yes it's war! Hopefully all will emerge intact, except the rivals' dignity. *smiles wickedly*

koboreta: Because he was just there to fill in the shoes of Goku's suitor. Brings 5 and 3 together. 

WTF???: This _is_ a parody. P.A.R.O.D.Y. 

UltraM2000: I'll try.  As promised, something special for Hakkai's role. I'm sorry I turned him into a her… but… can you resist old-green-eyes in high heels?

DMJewelle: Thank you! *bows* People tell me it's more sense of sarcasm, instead of sense of humor though.   

Triple X: I try to keep at least the 4 main guys in character. The others can go to the dogs. I accept all reviews, good, bad, or just. Reviews are the food we fanfic writers live on.    

"I feerrrrr rove friesssss" – Hyde in Love Flies.


	4. Courting the Shrew aka Just who will pok...

Disclaimer: Characters of Gensoumaden Saiyuki belong to Minekura Kazuya and whichever publishing company she currently is with.

Note: My appreciation to reviewers is at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 4: Courting the Shrew a.k.a. Just who will _pokerize_ whom? Part 2

"Care for a game of poker, sir?"

      "You might not like my preferred kind of stakes, though," Gojyo replied after recovering from the surprise at hearing that calm voice.  It was the longest sentence that voice had articulated this evening, much longer than the grunts and impatiently clipped 'yes' or 'no' heard throughout the dinner.

      "Try me," Sanzo said as she sat down on the seat opposite him.  Already, a deck appeared out of nowhere in her hand.  She began to shuffle the cards, while still fixing him with that new type of look.  Gojyo shifted uncomfortably in the couch.  The menacing glare had now been replaced with a chilling gaze.  It looked like what the squirrel sees when it stares into the eyes of its would-predator the snake.

      _Hmm, let's see the look on her face when I tell her what the stakes are_, Gojyo thought_._  This woman must be crazy to want to play poker with him after hearing the poker stories [1] he regaled them with just now.  Well, he did not see any harm in playing a hand or two with her.  It might even help him in his plan.  But before that, just to titillate her a little…

      "I'll tell you what: Seeing that you're female, and I'm not partial to being accused of taking advantage of a woman - not unless it is out of her _own_ free will, of course.  We play one hand.  Just one.  No ante.  One stake: If I lose, we play the game proper on your rules: stakes, variation," Gojyo paused for effect.  _And what if you lose? Ask me, blondie. I want to hear you talk in sentences, no, in paragraphs.  Not phrases.  Show me how sharp your tongue can be._

      Expecting his desire to be fulfilled was futile.  Across the ornate coffee table, Sanzo was now doing the interlocking card shuffle.  The sound of the cards from the two halves of the deck flipping over each other went on as she arched an eyebrow.  After two more rounds of shuffling, she finally said: "And vice versa if I lose."  She launched a coin towards a disappointed Gojyo.  It sailed smoothly over the table into Gojyo's waiting hand.

      "Flip it.  Heads I deal."

      "And tails _I_ deal," he countered, turning the florin over suspiciously, and was greeted by another surprise - Sanzo's laugh.  Glockenspiel tinkling.  Faced with the cool demeanor of the supposed shrew, someone's heart started to thaw.  Gojyo shook his head angrily.  _Don't lose it.  Don't lose it, old boy. We are playing for high stakes here._

      "Normal coin, is it not?"  The enthralling melody that was her laughter ended.  In a way, Gojyo was relieved.  The spell had been broken. He tossed the coin into the air and caught it.  _Tails_.

      "Allow me, my lady," he said with that trademark grin which had never failed to make many a barmaid swoon over him, as he bent over the coffee table to take the deck from her.  He caught a whiff of her expensive perfume, which goaded him even more towards his goal.  This woman would be the key to the treasury of the richest merchant in town.  And she was… class.  For the first time in his life, the thought of the barmaids and cheap whores and their equally cheap perfumes did not excite him at all.  _I _want_ this woman._  _Plus all that she will bring to me._

      "Five-card stud?" Gojyo asked.  She nodded, affirming that she had no objection to playing the common variation.

      Sanzo watched, hawk-like, as he shuffled the deck.  She declined when he offered the deck for her to cut, knowing from what she had seen that cutting the deck would be meaningless when he had already palmed at least three of the cards into his sleeve.  _He is good at that, I'll have to admit_,_ though not overburdened with common sense,_ she thought as Gojyo dealt the first three cards to each of them - two face-down and one face-up.  With no round betting, he should have just dealt them all five cards - face-up [2].  _Well, old habits die hard. _Taking up her two cards, Sanzo stared at them expressionlessly.  She looked up in time to see her opponent furrow his brow as he studied his own two cards.

      "Deal the rest," she said curtly.  He gave her a lop-sided smile as he answered: "Yes, my lady."  _Charming, aren't you?_ She thought piquantly as he flipped all his cards into view.  _Bet those three cards you pinched off help a lot._

      "Full House, and that's the highest one possible," Gojyo announced smugly, as if Sanzo were blind or retarded or both and hence could not recognize that three Aces and two Kings formed his hand. 

      Sanzo turned over his first two cards.  Gojyo gawked unbelievingly at the revealed cards, which were lying beside Sanzo's other three cards -- three 10's.

      "That's… that's impossible!" he stuttered, as he moved to have a closer look at his opponent's hand.  It was still there.  That ridiculous hand, the legendary Five of a Kind.

      "And why not?" Sanzo's slightly irritated voice sounded over his head.

      "You cheated!" Gojyo lost his cool for the first time of the night.  He pointed to the two Jokers, which grinned back at him obscenely with their wide painted lips.

      "Oh?" A dangerous edge appeared in Sanzo's voice. "Like you made off with those three Aces just now?" [3]

      For just a moment, Gojyo's eyes flashed guiltily.  Why, he never expected a sheltered, pampered lady like Sanzo to see through his sleight of hand.  An old-timer, maybe, but this woman?  _A worthy opponent, if we had met in other circumstances._  He recollected himself at that thought.  Somehow, the thought of losing to a worthy adversary seemed to ease the agitation at being discovered.

      "Well," he threw up his hands good-naturedly.  "You win, lady.  Name your prize."

      He received his third surprise of the evening when Sanzo leaned towards him.  He would not have seen it at all, as he was distracted by the view _much_ lower than her face, but the tone in her voice had compelled him to look up from the distraction(s).

      "We play strip poker."

      Gojyo hardly heard her.  His ears seemed to have gone on vacation as he stared, mesmerized, at Sanzo's smile [4].

[1]  Not all of them are true of course.  If they were, would Gojyo be in the financial dire strait he was in at the moment? 

[2]  This would have foiled Gojyo - and Sanzo's earlier "efforts", no?

[3]  Sanzo's longest sentence.  Yet.

[4]  _This _one, and _not_ the distraction(s), is the third surprise.  All part of the game.

Note: on poker

All I know about poker, I read from somewhere, or played with my faithful companion, a diy PC.  If there are any mistakes, please overlook them and leave me in ignorance.  After all, ignorance is bliss, that's what they say.

Reviewers: My appreciation

Evil Laugher: Yes! YAOI is the word, my man!

seikazu aisenai: This fic is about Sanzo and Gojyo, like yours. In a way, I wanted (and still want) to dedicate it to all 3x5 or 5x3 fans out there, but I was worried that the gender change might alienate yaoi fangals (tho' ironically, I'm one yaoi fangal myself).  

gearthdead: "Fuxx"? Does that mean this fic suxx or what?

Tooboe luvs Tsume: Now you know.

UltraM2000: Hakkai-chan will turn up near the end (coming soon, I hope).  Think of it as a cameo role, mkay?

Brennend; kei: I have promptly slaughtered the fic bunny that gave me that rotten idea in the 1st place.  For weeks I didn't dare go outside my house for fear of being devoured by slighted fangals.

koboreta; No-name: Just to whet your appetite for the coming chapters.

Ali: How old am I? Why, I've been writing yaoi since that great bishonen Alexander the Great's time.  I even wrote a few pieces about him and his childhood companion Hephaiston (another Macedonian bishonen) which are not really yaoi, because both were _really_ lovers in real life. Heheh.  Seriously, Fire Dragon and B-type Scorpion.  Look 'em up.

Boroboro: The spirit of the original, the spirit! (Btw, you really like Shaman King, don't you?)


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